Self-Love: Why Do You Need Validation From Others When You Can Validate Yourself?

In the digital world, where all that matters is the likes, comments, and approval on social media. It's easy to be trapped in seeking validation from others. We need a compliment, the acknowledgment that we are worthy, valuable, and good enough. But what happens when that external validation is absent and doesn't exist? The answer is simple. It's the self-esteem; a feeling of inadequacy hits when you seek continuous validation from outside to value the sense of worth. Let's have a look at the transformation from seeking external validation to self-love.

Effects of Seeking External Validation:

Constantly seeking validation from others is like giving the control and entitlement over your self-worth in their hands. It makes you vulnerable to their opinions, judgments, and moods.

It's Conditional:

Validation from others is often termed as conditional. It always depends on your performance on that day, your appearance, or whether you meet their expectations set by them. This creates a constant pressure in you to perform to meet their expectations. This further can lead to anxiety and dangerous fear of failure.

It's Fleeting:

Compliments and praise are limited to a period of time; they are temporary. They provide a push for that moment, but they don't actually help in self-acceptance and self-worth. You'll likely find yourself craving more and more validation. This will create a cycle of dependence.

It's subjective:

Everyone has their own opinions and preferences. What one person likes and praises, another might not like; they may criticize. Relying on external validation means you're trying to please everyone but not you. This is impossible; you can't always satisfy everyone.

It's Unreliable:

People are often busy, distracted, and sometimes preoccupied with their own issues. They may not always notice or acknowledge your efforts, even if they are deserving of praise. This can lead to feelings of neglect and resentment.

It Prevents Authentic Living:

When you're constantly craving and seeking external validation, you will start living your life how the other person wants you to live.

The Power of Self-Validation:

Self-validation is an act of acknowledging your own worth regardless of what others think. It's all about how you see yourself and how you want yourself to be. There is no harm in it. Here's why it's essential for cultivating self-love:

It's Unconditional:

Self-validation is based on what you see about yourself. You know everything about you, the struggle and the result. So the validation is definitely not judgmental. This will help you grow.

It's Sustainable:

Self-validation comes from within, so it's always available to you whenever you need it. It's not dependent on other people's opinions or actions.

It's Empowering:

You won't lose control of your self-worth when you validate yourself.

It Fosters Authenticity:

Self-validation allows you to live just like how you want. You won't be bothered by others opinions on your life. You will feel free to express your true self without fear of judgment.

ALSO READ: Dopamine Dressing: How bold colors can instantly boost your mood

How to Cultivate Self-Validation:

Cultivating self-validation is a long process that requires time and patience. Here are a few ways to do so.

Be aware of your inner critic. Being critical about yourself can help you grow, but if this becomes too much negative talk about yourself, it is dangerous.

Acknowledge Your Strengths and Accomplishments for what you did. Take a moment out of your busy days to appreciate yourself for the work you have done.

Practice Self-Compassion: Allow yourself to treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. Forgive yourself for your mistakes and learn from them.

Trust Your Intuition: Pay attention to your inner voice and trust your gut feelings. Don't always seek external opinions before making decisions.

ALSO READ: Chains that Gen X women are breaking in their 40s, Surprising Gen Z!