Co parenting mistakes: 7 things to avoid for child's well being

Co-parenting the child after separation or divorce is quite a task, but considering your child's well-being is the priority. Even though both the parents are very careful and responsible, there is room for mistakes that can traumatize your kid for life. Let's have a look at the seven common co-parenting mistakes to avoid. 

Co-Parenting Mistakes:

Talking Negatively About the Other Parent:

This is the most damaging factor in a child's life. Children have nothing to do with your compatibility or relations. To them, you are their parent. Kids love both parents, and hearing one person do bad talk about the other one creates an emotional imbalance in the child. This can lead to hard feelings like guilt, confusion, and many more.

Instead: try to keep your conversations positive or neutral about the other parent, even if you have personal issues. The child's relationship with the other parent is crucial.

Using the Child as a Messenger or Spy: 

Putting your child in the middle of you and your partner to carry messages or to gather information about your partner's life is unfair and often takes a toll on kids' mental health due to manipulation. It places them in an uncomfortable position and develops trust issues with you.

Instead: communicate directly with the other parent to keep things transparent by emails or a coparenting app to protect your child's trust.

Conflicting in Front of the Child:

Watching parents fight can have a lasting and stressful impact on children that can leave them traumatized for life. This can cultivate anxiety, fear, and behavioral problems in the kids.

Instead: find a calm way to resolve disagreements privately away from the child.

Failing to Establish Consistent Rules and Routines:

Children need a structured routine in order to grow better. Inconsistent rules and routines from household to household of both parents. This can create confusion and make it difficult for them to adjust.

Instead: communicate with the other parent about the daily routine of the child to create a better routine for the kids to enjoy and not be confused.

Withholding Information or Access:

Using your child to seek revenge by blocking their interaction with the other parent due to your personal issues can emotionally damage the child's emotional stability. This can leave a lasting impact on the child.

Instead: maintain open communication and allow the child to interact with the other parent regularly unless there are significant safety concerns.

Trying to "Out-Parent" the Other Parent:

Competing with the other parent to grab your child's attention and affection is not at all a smart move. This can create a sense of rivalry and make the upbringing of the child more difficult.

Instead: you need to focus on being the best parent you can be without trying to beat the others to disturb the bond that the child and other parent share.

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Ignoring Your Child's Feelings:

Children tend to deal with many mixed emotions during or after their parent's separation. Ignoring or dismissing their feelings can build trust issues and can impact the overall well-being of the child.

Instead: Listen to your kids and offer to help when they are dealing with complex emotions. 

Co-parenting is not an easy task or an overnight game. This takes a lot of patience and learning to raise a kid after separation with both parents availability. At the end of the day, your child is not responsible for your personal issues, and they do not deserve to be mistreated. They deserve the love from both parents and to be heard. It is not about which parent wins or loses; it's about giving your child a good and peaceful upbringing together.

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