How Many Times Do We Truly Fall in Love? Study Says Just Twice

Valentine's Day is just around the corner and love is already in the air. It's the time of year when hearts, roses and romantic messages take over our screens and streets. 

We grow up watching Bollywood love stories and Hollywood romantic comedies. Books, poems and songs tell us falling deeply in love is the greatest feeling in life. That rush. The sleepless nights. The obsession. It feels magical.

But how often does that truly happen?

A new study from the Kinsey Institute has tried to answer that question. And the result may surprise many people.

What the study found

Researchers surveyed 10,036 single Americans aged between 18 and 99. They asked one clear question: “In your lifetime, how many times have you been passionately in love?”

The average answer was 2.05 times. In simple terms, just about twice in a lifetime. Here is how people responded:

• 14% said zero times
• 28% said once
• 30% said twice
• 17% said three times
• 11% said four or more times

Lead author Dr Amanda Gesselman, a scientist at the Kinsey Institute, said this is the first large study to measure how often people truly fall passionately in love.

She explained that while people talk about love all the time, intense romantic love actually happens only a few times for most.

The study also found that passionate love is quite universal.

Differences between straight, gay, lesbian and bisexual participants were very small. Older people reported slightly more experiences of passionate love than younger people. This suggests love does not stop with age.

Men reported slightly higher numbers than women. This was mainly because straight men reported being in love a bit more often than straight women. However, the gap was small.

Overall, passionate love appears to be something most people experience in a similar way.

Passion versus steady love

Therapists say this research is helpful. Many people feel pressure to chase constant excitement in relationships.

But passionate love, with its intense emotions, is often short-lived. Life changes. Responsibilities grow. Feelings settle.

What often lasts longer is companionate love. This is the steady kind of love built on trust, comfort, shared jokes and daily support. Experts say this is what keeps long-term relationships strong.

In today’s world of dating apps and social media, expectations around love are high. According to Kinsey’s Singles in America study, done with Match:

• 60% of US singles describe themselves as “very romantic”
• 51% feel more pressure to find a partner than past generations
• 73% believe movies create unrealistic expectations about love

Social media also plays a role. People often see highlight reels of grand gestures and perfect relationships. This can make real life feel disappointing.

The new findings remind people that intense love is rare. It is special, but it does not happen again and again for most.

The findings also connect with dating culture in other countries, including India. Whether someone is meeting partners through family introductions or dating apps like Bumble, the strong rush of attraction may not always mean lasting love.

Experts suggest building relationships based on trust, friendship and shared values instead of only chasing intense passion.

On average, people fall deeply and passionately in love about twice in their lives. But staying in love for the long term may matter even more.